Title: Star-Lord #1
Writer: Chip Zdarsky
Art/Cover: Kris Anka and Matthew Wilson
In stores: Wednesday, December 21, 2016
GROUNDED! Peter Quill might have been born on Earth, but he’s been away a LONG time. How does a man go from soaring through the stars as the legendary Star-Lord to living with his feet planted firmly on the ground? What kind of job options are available for a guy whose CV mostly consists of “guarding the galaxy”? One thing is certain, Earth has a new guardian. Also, a new bartender.
With the book described as "grounded," you know going in it's going to be bad.
Marvel rebooted Star-Lord and the Guardians of the Galaxy following the movie getting green lit, and it's been downhill ever since. Chip Zdarsky continues with the Bendis version of Star-Lord, which is simply just awful. Instead of being lost in space with Bendis, Star-Lord is lost on Earth. He doesn't know what to do and hooks up with Old Man Logan as the two get into a bar brawl. Seriously. The entire issue is a joke and an insult to Abnett and Lanning's stellar Guardians of the Galaxy that inspired Gunn's movie and its fans. Star-Lord looks like a GQ model, has hit shirt off in many panels and is absolutely clueless about everything. What was the point of even producing this comic? It does nothing to further the character of Star-Lord. It's like Marvel Comics is going out of its way to sh-t all over the movie properties.
The only enjoyment I did get out of the issue is that Chip Zdarsky seems to make fun of how bad the Bendis Star-Lord character is by joking about the Bendis stupid characteristics: Brand tells Star-Lord to put his shirt on; Howard The Duck calls him a hunk; a street bum says Star-Lord is going clubbing, etc. At least I like to think Chip wrote it that way.
Like the Guardians of the Galaxy, Star-Lord should never be "grounded" on Earth. Keep Star-Lord Cosmic.
And yes, that's zero out of five stars above.