Posted by:
Matt McGloin

The Wolverine (2013) Thoughts & Spoilers

Posted by:
Matt McGloin

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If you are on a limited budget save this one for Netflix or Redbox because adamantium tastin' time - it ain't.

The Wolverine, so far, has to be the most disappointing film of the Summer, more so than Iron Man 3, at least for me.

Below you can check out my thoughts and spoilers on the movie with Lawrence's formal review in the works.

Spoilers follow.

 

Movie starts off with the rugged Wolverine feeling guilty for the death of Jean Grey. He has secluded himself and is drinking heavily etc.

We then get introduced to a poorly done CGI grizzly bear who really pays no attention to "The Wolverine"; however, a group of hunters out partying end up getting attacked by the grizzly because they shot it with an illegally poisoned arrow which Logan finds. He confronts the surviving hunter where we are then introduced to Yukio (Rila Fukushima) who struts her sword around and scares everyone away. She then convinces Wolverine to go with her to Japan to say "good-bye" to an old friend.

Well, the "old friend" is a Japanese officer, Yashida, that Logan saved when the atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. We gotta assume that Logan was a prisoner of war, but no dog tags were to be had anywhere. Anyway, old man Yashida (Hal Yamanouchi) is dieing of cancer or something and wants to transfer Logan's healing powers into himself, thus giving Logan what he wants which is mortality. Well, Logan isn't so sure of that, but it really doesn't matter because the old man dies anyway, who also happens to be the owner of Japan's biggest corporation.

The funeral goes haywire as the Japanese mafia thugs attack. 

Wait; let's back track a bit. There is no Famke Janssen flashback scene; Jean Grey is there sorta in Logan's head, in his nightmares etc. I heard a reference online to Famke Janssen looking similar to Alice Eve in her almost-birthday suit for Star Trek Into Darkness, which is an absolute ridiculous comparison. Here, Jean Grey is simply wearing a nightie with it not seeming cheap at all. Anyway...in one of Logan's dreams/nightmares he is kissing Jean, and when he awakens it's The Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova). She did something to Logan to cancel his healing powers.

Back to the funeral; Wolverine is getting shot etc., and isn't healing. The thugs are after Mariko (Tao Okamoto) with her childhood boyfriend, Harada (Will Yun Lee), shooting arrows from rooftops to help out. They end up escaping where we are witness to this ridiculous high-speed train scene where Logan "flies," and he and lone ninja or two battle atop the train having to dodge signs at 300mph

Next, the movie slows down considerably as there is build up (an attempt) and exposition between Logan and Mariko. There is absolutely no on screen chemistry between Jackman and Tao Okamoto, and really no purpose in the movie as to why, but they end up hooking up, assuming just because it's "Mariko."

Then somehow the thugs end up kidnapping Mariko, with Wolverine waking up too late, but he manages to get information out of one of the thugs who kidnapped her. Turns out it's her current fianceeNoburo, (Brian Tee) whom Wolverine and Yukio find fooling around with a pair of hookers. Logan makes a remark to him about being a scum bag. Yeah, after Logan just banged his fiancee (lol). Well, it turns out that Mariko's father wants her dead because the old man left everything to Mariko, which turns out isn't much because the old man has been stock piling adamantium (and hopefully explains why Logan's claws didn't cut through any of the Japanese swords in the movie).

So Wolverine and Yukio go to confront Mariko's father, Shingen (Hiroyuki Sanada), where Logan uses the old man's medical tech to extract whatever The Viper put inside him to surpress his power. It looked like something out of The Matrix and it was attached to his heart. He then battles it out with Shingen, and since his healing powers are back takes care of business.

From there, Wolverine and Yukio go to find Mariko. She's been captured by The Viper. As Wolverine makes his way to her, he is attacked by Harada and his group of ninjas. For some reason they aren't called the Hand, but the Black Claw or something. Well, they shoot Wolverine full of arrows and ropes, but Wolvie isn't bending. Then Harada dips an arrow in some of The Viper's poison (remember the bear?), shoots him, and Logan falls flat. I guess Wolverine's healing factor wasn't at 100% because the poison still had an effect (I guess).

So Wolverine wakes up in some machine with his arms locked down. Next to him is the giant suit of Silver Samurai armor (gee, wonder who is inside). Well, The Viper tricks Logan into unleashing his adamantium claws. Then the Silver Samurai armor awakens. It's a giant frickin' robot! Ala ED-209! And it happens to be completely made out of adamantium and has a glowing red Samurai sword (lol)!

As it swings its sword down to cut through Logan's claws, Mariko manages to intervene somehow which causes Silver Samurai to cut the machine apart that was holding Logan. They battle etc. The Viper battles Yukioo etc.

Long story short, and something that no one possibly saw coming a million miles away, it's the old man in the armor and he wants Logan's healing power! Silver Samurai ends up cutting Logan's claws and attempts to steal the healing power by burrowing into the bone marrow through some contraptions on its arms which lock onto Logan's arms. Well, Mariko picks up the severed adamantium Wolverine claws and sticks them in her grandfather's head (who is revealed in the suit). Wolverine - because his healing factor is back, but for some odd reason poison works on him - grows his bone claws back, guts the old man in the suit and throws him over a cliff.

Final scene is of Logan and Yukio getting on a plane, with Yukio saying Mariko said Logan can go anywhere. Logan says up. Yukio says she is his bodyguard and that is why she is going with him and says it's interesting.

Update: There is an end credits scene (best part of the movie).

Final Thoughts:

Fans have been told this is the Wolverine movie that everyone has ever wanted to see. Wrong.

Fans were told we would see the berserker rage from the comics. Wrong.

If you were looking for more of the Wolverine from X-Men 2 who took out Stryker's swat team as they attacked the X-Mansion, you will be disappointed.

If you liked what Marvel Studios did with The Mandarin in Iron Man 3, you will love what Fox did with the Silver Samurai.

If you loved the Wolverine in Japan comic book storyline, you will absolutely hate this movie.

There is also a mid-credit scene that features Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart and Trask Industries which was by far the best part of the movie.

I went with a half dozen other people who all gave it two thumbs down.

Cosmic Book News X-Men expert Chris "DOC" Bushley said the movie was "completely unnecessary."

Overall it was just a terrible story; they should have stuck closer to the comic storyline instead of going for their "own" vision.

Fox blew it with this one guys. Again.

Good luck, Bryan Singer.

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